dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
