Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
