i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
