I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
