why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize