you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
