oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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