omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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