if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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