Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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