I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
