I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
