My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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