Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
