so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Boobs speak an international language.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
