I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
