I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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