Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just high enough for therapy.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
