Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
