If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
