Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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