I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
