Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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