I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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