Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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