hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
