you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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