WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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