I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
