STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
