Please, let me fuck your mom
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
