Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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