Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
