So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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