I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
