looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
