I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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