cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
