Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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