My brain says no but my pants say off.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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