As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
