Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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