If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
