nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
