I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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