I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
