I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
