The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
