We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
