naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
this will be a night to untag.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We are two peas in an std pod
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
