her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
how does that bad decision feel?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
