so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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