And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
