I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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