Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
