bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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