I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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