this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize