Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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