Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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