i think my tv is drunk
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
