any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
