Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
