you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
