I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
