someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
