i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
