The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
