I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
