i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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