I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
