I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
