She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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