No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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