He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
