fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
